The Resistance
by Luna Raven 1908
Summary: Chow takes his town back from a self-centered aged racist, sexist, criminal pig of a mayor. Loosely based on current events, this is solely a fantasy played out in the Animal Crossing world, written by a proud to be nasty woman! #resistance


The Resistance! Chow: One Nasty Panda!

MAGA: Make Assholes Go Away

A/N: This takes place after the "Twilight Crossing" stories, but before "The Cannibal Children". While this story is very loosely based on real life events, there is no intent to promote and/or slander any political party; everyone has an opinion, that is a human right. We may not all agree on the same things, but we can respect each other's rights to have those views. Any reviews, positive or negative, will be respected by me.

There is no mention of any " Twilight" characters here. For those who have not read the "Twilight Crossing" stories: Beavis, Socko, and Yugi are cats, and Chow has referred to them collectively as "The Three Headed Beast". That's about all you need to know here...

(Chow's perspective)

It's been a tapestry of turds, like when Mayor Tortimer made racist remarks and was painting the town shithole brown, aiya. It was like all those times we heard the word "SHIT" on "South Park". Just let fat ass Cartman think of making anti-semitic jokes... I'd beat his ass up and down the main road of Big Paw; and by " Cartman", I mean Tortimer.

I want to take over- toss his wrinkled ass out and change the name, aiya. "Chowtown" has a nice ring to it! Racist and religious slurs are NOT cool in my town, aiya... but slurs against dumbasses like Tortimer are okay.

Old fuck Tortimer has something against humans. "They're all drug dealers, gang members, and disgusting creatures infesting our town.", he says, aiya.

The asshole wants to have our human residents deported- ALL of them, even my friend Sparkles!

There are bad humans in every race and religion; there are also bad animals... any and all species have them, aiya. But to punish all for the actions of one... that pisses me off.

A rebellion starts with one voice, and I'm going to do it, aiya. I'm taking back the town from Tortimer. I'm doing it for the animals, for the people, for everyone! Aiya!

(Third Person Perspective)

After Chow made his decision, he quickly gained support from many residents; animal and human.

Tortimer continued his hate speech and he had his own supporters who would bully humans. He encouraged such senseless acts and overlooked any crimes committed by these supporters.

" You do know he is married to a human, right?", asked Socko.

Chow's eyes turned bloodshot. "What the hell?"

"Yeah. She is a former model for some adult entertainment place."

"Sock, you are too nice!", said Yugi. " She was a fucking spokesmodel for a whore house!"

Chow shook his head. "Aiya. I guess he only likes immigrants who are willing to suck his tiny dick!"

"He's also a skirt chaser.", Socko replied. " I heard he tried to force himself on Marina, but she fought him off."

"Tortimer is going down.", Chow yelled. " Where are Beavis and Sparkles, aiya?"

"Oh! They're casing out where Asshole's rally us going to be.", Yugi answered.

" We should be there too. Time for an uprising, aiya!"

"Aiya!"

"Aiya!", the three cheered, paws in the air.

Later on at the rally, Tortimer rambled on, occasionally ordering his security to remove humans in the crowd.

" BIGOT!", one protester shouted.

"RAPIST!", came from another.

" I am not a bigot!", Tortimer said, but the crowd knew better.

Beavis raised up a paw. "No, you're a pussy! So grab yourself instead of unwilling females!"

"Asshole!", Yugi screamed. "Asshole! Asshole!"

Soon the protesters were chanting with the black and white cat.

Tortimer was pissed. The crowd consisted of nothing but protesters... a bunch of "NeverTortimers"!

" Where the fuck are my supporters?", he thought.

Meanwhile, at the former Nook's Cranny, long since abandoned for the fancier Nookington's store...

"Heh, heh, heh...", Stitches laughed.

He and Kiki had kidnapped Tortimer's diehard supporters, tied them up, and superglued their eyes open. They were forced to watch unedited videos of the real Tortimer- the one who played " grab ass" on women and bragged about it. The one who believed animals were the ultimate superior species and everyone else were beneath him. After five minutes, some of them renounced their support. After ten minutes, all were sobbing, including two turtle residents.

Back at the rally...

"You all have shit for brains! And you girls got no tits! I'm a rich motherfucker! I'm a fucking genius! I even scammed my way out of the Animal Troop draft while you poor peasants were forced to serve! Fuck you!", Tortimer shouted while giving the finger.

The crowd kept chanting. Socko noticed something. " Sparkles, give me your boots!"

"I just bought these!", she cried.

" I'll buy you two pairs!"

She removed one boot and handed it to Socko. He threw it and missed.

"Ha! Ha! You missed! You throw like a human housekeeper!", taunted Tortimer.

The other boot flew and got him square in the head, knocking him unconscious.

" And I throw like a human MLB MVP!", Sparkles yelled.

The crowd cheered. By this time, Stitches and Kiki released Tortimer's former supporters who joined the protesters.

"Let's hurry up and carry his ass out of the town, stuffin'!", Stitches ordered.

Chow got up to the pedestal as Tortimer was carried off.

" Humans and animals!", he said into the mic. "This land shall now be known as 'Chowtown'! All are welcome, aiya! Love trumps hate!"

The crowd cheered as Chow continued on.

"I'm cleaning up this town, one ignorant asshole at a time. This land is for everyone!"

"Mayor Chow!", Sparkles began chanting. " Mayor Chow!"

The crowd quickly joined her.

(Chow's perspective)

Aiya! That was how I trumped Tortimer's ugly ancient racist ass and we changed the town forever.

The town was officially renamed Chowtown and I was elected mayor. Sparkles was finally granted citizenship and allowed to move in with the "Three Headed Beast" (funny how I still call Beavis, Socko, and Yugi that after all this time, enen though they don't get on my nerves anymore). Tortimer had executive ordered laws in place against humans and animals being roommates and I quickly threw that shit out, aiya! Equality rules here.

I'm still straightening out things here, but I don't give a fuck about what species you are. If you're an asshole, I'm throwing you out, aiya!

First to go: that little bitch Filbert... he's been going around flashing residents and saying "suck on these puppies". Gross. Copper and Booger- I mean Booker- (I'm the mayor, I need to be professional, aiya) also got reports of Filbert peeping on females in the changing room at the Able Sisters shop.

Yeah, that prick is gone, and I know there are others to toss out, aiya.

This is only the beginning!

Aiya!

The End


End file.
